| Ti Moune. |
[04 Sep 2005|03:36am] |
What can I say to stop you now
Now that you've heard your drums
And seen your dancers
Now that you think your heart has
All the answers...
Who knows how high
Those mountains climb
Who knows how deep
Those rivers flow
Who knows how wrong
A dream can go
Ti Moune
I won't be there to guide your way
To braid your hair or dry your tears
As we have done these many years
Ti Moune
Ti Moune
What you are, we made you
What we gave, you took
Now you run without
One backward look
You'll find some other boy to save
Some other life that you can share
Your heart is young
New dreams are everywhere
Choose your dreams with care
Ti Moune
But I have chosen, Mama, I'm not a child
any longer.
What I am, you made me
What you gave, I owe
But, if I look back, I'll never go
Who knows how high
Those mountains climb
Who knows how high
Those mountains climb
Who knows how deep
Those rivers flow
Who knows how deep
Those rivers flow
I know he's there
That's all I need to know...
Go and find your love
Go and swim the sea
You know where we'll be
Always there with me...
Ti Moune
|
|
| manghuhula |
[04 Sep 2005|02:55am] |
You are the Lovers card. The Lovers card is about union. Each of us carries in our DNA the
ability to be the opposite of what we think we are. Often our romantic attachments grow out of
awe
and respect as we see in another the characteristics we repress in
ourselves. Society often presses us into molds of what it thinks
masculinity and femininity should be. As a result, many of us associate
with our gender certain positive characteristics and call others
negative, when if these same qualities were held by a person of the
opposite sex, our attitude towards them would be reversed. Getting in
touch with our inner animus and anima, (Jung's terms for our inner male
and
female), allows us to see the whole of our personalities in a
positive and constructive light. When you draw The Lovers card in a
reading, you are working with balancing these forces. Depending on
where the card is, you have either achieved balance or need to. The
Lovers could indicate a romantic or even a platonic relationship. Ask
yourself is this is a positive relationship that contributes to your
growth as a complete human being, or if it fills an emotional craving
within you that is actually detrimental to your personal growth.
Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
|
|
| growing your own garden. |
[02 Sep 2005|12:05am] |
several things happened the past few days that i am deeply thankful for. romansas that
revived some of the weakest aspects of my spirit, very personal
declarations of love and support that envelopped me and boost my morale
at the very core, and revelations that caused turbulence in my gut but
not without opportunites to re-connect with the self and recover from
the nausea.
romansas may come in different
forms: coffee dates, dinner dates, merienda, sitting under a
mango tree, walking or jogging together, sharing a pack of cigarettes,
among others. the important ingredients are conversation and
connection. it didn't really matter how filling the baked ziti
and penne with chorizo parmesan cream were (which they were, btw) or
how fulfilling the chocolate
marble waffle was (which it was. hehe). what was of the essence
was the heartwarming discovery that you are connecting with someone and
that you are both enriched by your sharing a little part of
yourselves. as for me, one of my romansa partners, a mom of 3, a
wife for 11 years and lover for 14 years (to the same person ha.) never
fails to amaze me. our most recent rendezvous was no
different. everytime i have moments like this with her, i always
have a silent prayer that some of her wisdom would magically rub-off on
me. my being friends with her is good for my womanhood. go,
women! go, sisters! unite!
connection. a few days ago, les posted a line from before sunset in one of her entries on her blog. the line goes : "I guess when you're young you just believe there are a lot of
people you'll connect with... later in life you learn that it only happens a few
times" I
think I've lived my life long enough for it to become a testimony to
that theory. I mean, of course I've connected with many people in
different ways but it's another thing to discover connections that are
consequential, even evocative, something that is almost life-altering,
or is life-altering. just last night, i was overwhelmed with a very simple but meaningful gesture from one of my best friends. i'm really very mababaw. but i believe that great gifts come in small packages. no matter how unostentatious the "gift" is as long as the intention is genuine, it's all good. it's all very good.
like i said a few posts back, people i connect with in a special way
(be it a mom, or uncle, or friend, or partner) remind me that God not
only exists, but that he loves me dearly. (comparable to my
feelings towards crispy chicken skin or buffalo wings or chocolate
shake. diba? God spoils us, indeed.) (people like you in my life make me feel good to be God's spoiled brat. hehehe. but aren't we all spoiled , anyway?)
i shared one of the things my romansa partner i mentioned above amazed
me with with one of my friends when we caught each other on IM.
we totally had different views on the matter, which i found
interesting. we were obviously not trying to sway each other's
opinion or stand. to each his own. i guess, really, at the
end of the day, it's a matter of knowing yourself well, acknowledging,
accepting, and being persistent on what you need and want and then
finding your match. someone who will understand the things you
value and learn to value them as well or if you're lucky, who already
values the same things you do. we talked about cheating and what
we would do if our (future)husbands (god forbid) cheated on us.
funny how that conversation transpired when all i wanted to do was ask
her how the word barre, as in the one used in ballet, is spelled.
hehehe. i remembered that conversation again tonight because i caught the probe team on abs cbn and one of their featured stories was on swinging.
swinging is when a husband and wife give each other
consent to have other sexual partners while both remain faithful
to their marriage. swinging comes in the form of threesomes
or the husband with another woman while the wife is watching or vice
versa, etc. according to couples who do it and to a person who
organizes swinging (talagang business eh ano?) it is done around 3 or 4
times a year. (ok, so hindi naman pala regular thing.)
well, swinging isn't technically cheating. so it's an entirely
different story. hmm... i don't have an opinion on that which i
can defend ... yet. but so far, it sounds pretty absurd
to me.
i'm starting to really enjoy my ballet classes. well, actually, this
afternoon, i didn't feel like
going to ballet class. i didn't feel in the mood to do anything.
i just wanted to sulk in a mini-pity party that my
mind did not approve of but my sensitive id wanted to mull over.
i knew i was being stupid, so i did
go. i forced myself to stand up and grab my towel and go to the
bathroom to prepare. by the time i was putting on my tutu - just
kidding - my stretchy ballet top (haha, i don't know what that's
called) and jeans, i was already excited. yey, ballet! i
walked tall, closing my ribs, being careful not over protrude my
already sticking out butt. naks. heehee. i did that
while walking to the kanto to get a cab. hehehe. i'm
starting to already sweat while doing the exercises. during the
first three sessions, i didn't seem to sweat and i hated it. all
this exercise and no sweat? then i realized it was because i was
half doing the exercises and half watching to get them right, plus i
was so tense i held my breath instead of breathing freely with the
movement. for the past few times i've been joining the class,
we've been bowing as a group. it was my first time to experience
bowing individually at the end of today's class. and it felt
good. yey. :)
a few days ago, rica wrote an article which came out on the philippine star on
our ballet class which is officially called Limber Dance Class. i
recommend it. it's a good read, especially for women, even if
your reaction to ballet is "eeek" and not "yey, ballet". :)
rica's article here.
*****
|
|
| taya!! (survey galore) |
[29 Aug 2005|12:55am] |
one of the better activities that cater to an insomniac's needs.... online surveys! yey.
Seven things that scare me:
-airpockets / turbulence when in an aircraft.
-lizards.
- big waves enough to topple over a bangka i'm riding.
- scary movies.
- the dark after watching scary movies.
- losing people who are special to me before i am able to show/tell them how much i love them.
- that anyone i'm with might lose their fingers from premature
explotions of firecrackers they're lighting during new year's eve
celebrations. seriously.
Seven things I like the most:
-laughing so hard i almost cry (or actually cry..)
-discovering that i have made meaningful connections with people.
-a good massage.
-coke light
-eating.
-dvd marathons.
-hugs, especially the unexpected ones. :)
Seven random facts about me:
-my hair has natural curls and i like them. :)
-i sleep really late and i operate at optimum performance when i get 10 hours of sleep.
-i love to eat. ;p
-i love to sing. videoke? anyone?
-i fell in love with the moon in 2nd year college when a good friend
and i would page (yes, page!) each other whenever the moon was
lovely. (i fell in love with him, too, around that same
time. hehehe. ;D )
-my favorite cocktail is a cosmopolitan, half lime.
-i adore the indigo girls.
Seven important things in my bedroom:
-bed
-3 pillows.
-laptop.
-tv
-dvd player
-dvds
-lamp (yellow light)
Seven things I plan to do before I die:
-dive.
-help people help other people.
-kiss will smith. (if that's too improbable, si jericho rosales na lang.)
-marry the man who is worth all the trouble. hehehe.
-raise 2 or 3 kids or 4 or 8...
-go to europe and make out in a public place. hahaha.
-have rest/beach house where friends and family can relax and enjoy.
Seven things I can do:
-drive.
-sing.
-be OC
-be martir.
-be brutally frank.
-sacrifice a whole lot for people i care about.
-abnormally wiggle my left thumb. (you'll have to see it to understand.)
Seven things I can’t do:
-swim.
-ride a bike.
-sleep before 12mn.
-resist chocolate. (and cream cheese and lamb chops and oysters. damn.)
-feel okay about lying. (and lying well, at that.)
-pretend for a long time that i'm okay when i'm not
-stay mad at jay, even when he deserves it. hehe. damn. damn.
Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex:
-genuine. (doing good things not only because he's putting his best foot forward to impress someone he's interested in.)
-nice, big, firm butt. (with dimples in the right places.)
-madungis(if you were to cast him in a movie, contrabida siya.) on the outside but sensitive on the inside.
-affectionate.
-compassionate.
-brilliant in his craft.
-plays music or sings or at least appreciates music.
(isa pa ha... - magaling sumayaw. :D)
Seven things I say the most:
-guh-gu.
-pucha.
-serious?
-damn.
-talaga?
-oh god.
-hokey.
Seven celeb crushes (whether local or foreign):
-will smith
-brad pitt
-jericho rosales
-la tenorio
-john corbett as aidan shaw in satc
-archie alemanya
-james denton as mike delfino in desperate housewives.
Seven people you want to see take this quiz:
-maan (because we haven't gotten together for the tarot card reading...hehe)
-carlo
-les (because you tagged me too. hehe. btw, thanks for telling me even if i didn't. hehe.)
-kenneth (because i don't believe you've posted any answered survey on your blog...let this be the first one. hehehe.)
-ina (relax muna... :D how was davao?)
-galvin (long time, no see!)
-jem (dahil malamang ilalagay mo rin ang "madungis" hehehe.)
**
thanks to lightheaded for tagging me with that survey. and to wershwie for tagging me with the survey below. (and dear, i told you naman, i am gonna tell you...eventually. hehehe.)
**
Three names you go by:
-jowi
-jo
-joanna
Three screen
names you have had:
-timoune
-t1moune
-jowi_girl
Three
physical things you like about yourself:
-legs (when the waxing was done well. hehe)
-shape of shoulders
-hands (fingers and nails. especially my left hand.)
Three physical things you don't like
about yourself:
-i can probably have better skin, if only my genes would permit.
-balbon.
-scoliosis.
Three parts of your heritage:
-spanish. (until my lola's and lolo's [my mom's parents] generation,
they could speak spanish and actually did, during family gatherings and
reunions. i learned a few words pa eh and could speak a
little. but that died a natural death.)
-scoliosis. :(
-sobrang daming lines sa palad. (from my dad's side.)
Three things that scare
you:
-airpockets / turbulence when in an aircraft.
-lizards.
-big waves enough to topple over a bangka i'm riding.
Three of your everyday essentials:
-cellphone.
-computer.
-pillow.
Three of your favorite musical artists:
-indigo girls
-jason mraz
-john mayer
Three of your favorite songs:
-comfortable
-sleeping to dream
-hope alone
Three things you want in a relationship:
-love.
-friendship.
-s**
Three lies and truths in no particular order:
-i'm the eldest apo sa tuhod.
-i have only one pamangkin - a nephew.
-i prefer dark chocolate to regular or white chocolate.
-i'm in love right now.
-my favorite color is black.
-i always arrive on time.
Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to
you:
-nice, big, firm butt. (with dimples in the right places.)
-mukhang madungis
-nice hands.
Three of your
favorite hobbies:
-dvd marathons.
-collecting home magazines.
-ballet (hehe)
Three things you want to do really badly now:
-sleep.
-drink coke light (naubos na kagabi eh.)
-some other things that are either highly improbable, logistically impractical, or illegal. hehehehe.
Three careers you're considering/you've considered:-teaching
-ngo work
-training
Three places you want to go on vacation:-batanes
-australia
-new york
Three kid's names you like:-kyla (but am re-thinking this one since kyla the singer became famous)
-miguel
-gabrielle
Three things you want to do before you
die:-help people help other people.
-marry the man who is worth all the trouble of getting married. hehehe.
-raise 2 or 3 kids or 4 or 8...
Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:-i
think like a guy sometimes. i usually get what a guy means when he says
something a girl can easily misinterpret. unfortunately, i'm
rarely correct when it comes to my own experiences with men. hehe. too involved. hehe.
-i like doing things around the house on my own. in my apartment
before, the only time i called for a handy man was when i had problems
with the electical wires. otherwise, things that need fixing,
curtainrods or blinds that need to be installed, lighting fixtures that
need to be replaced... i did them on my own. :)
-ma-pride akong tao. (am a proud woman.)
Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:- i talk a lot. - i like guys to like me. hahahahahahahahaha. - i love going to the parlor and staying there for hours. Three celeb crushes:-will smith.
-brad pitt.
-jericho rosales.
Three people that
i would like to see take this quiz:- gang (marie)(because it's been awhile since you've posted an entry. plus nagkakasalisi tayo sa ym)
- pol(relax muna from thesis work. :D)
- tristan(it's been awhile since your last entry. :D)
|
|
| alalahanin, gunitain...nang puso nati'y wala pang galos, pangarap nati'y wala pang gapos...* |
[28 Aug 2005|02:22am] |
watched "sinta" for the nth time. hehehe. i still
enjoyed. especially because my friend, moks, played one of the
two lead roles. he was the leading man. naks.
hehe. i also love watching my old students slowly perfecting
their craft. justin was on-stage while pao was one of the lead
guitarists. sobrang nakaka-proud. sobra.
got some take out from mcdonalds after the show- sundaes and chicken nuggets.
went to cafe breton after an hour. love the galette breton
(seafood with a pinch of lemon juice) and le magnifique(nutella,
whipped cream, bananas, and almonds). with camomile tea. (and yosi. hehe.)
now how to burn all those calories... ::sigh:: oh well, as i always say... basta ako, pro-happiness. ;)
*****
*from one of the songs, alalahanin, gunitain, from the play, sinta.
|
|
| niche. |
[27 Aug 2005|03:52am] |
this is probably the shortest song i've heard. hehe but
definitely one of the songs na may tama. a tracy chapman original...
Save a place for me
Save a space for me
In your heart
In your heart
Save a place for me
Save a space for me
In your heart
In your heart
If you wait - I will come for you
If you wait - I will come for you
If you wait - I will come for you
If you wait
If you wait
If you wait
|
|
| endorphin rush. |
[26 Aug 2005|12:53am] |
thank god for exercise and chocolate, alternatives to "being in love",
which make you feel the endorphin rush. makes you feel really
good inside. makes you feel warm all over.
the highlight of the past three days has been my dancing spree. i
went to ballet class last tuesday, had ballroom dancing lessons
yesterday, then ballet again today. all the stretching, the
movement, the balancing, the coordination, the arm and leg throwing,
the hip thrusting, the sweating have induced the production of
endorphins. yahoo!
the ballet class i've been attending is an adult beginner class.
(the last time i used the barre was when i was 5 years old.) it's
not actually all ballet but there's a little bit of jazz incorporated
into the steps. we'd use the barre and do the point-brush bit and
pirouettes, etc but there's also a celtic portion and light salsa to
the tune of livin' la vida loca. hehe. lovin' it. my
classmates are all adults - 5 mommies, a 20-year-old and a (maybe) 18
or 19-year old. kakatuwa.
*****
chandler to monica (the one with the proposal, part 2):
"you have made me happier than i ever thought i could be."
::sigh::
people like you remind me that god not only exists, but that he loves me very dearly.
*****
i looked for the script of that episode to verify if i got the line
correctly. when i went through the script, i cried.
AgAIn. it's amazing how this episode has made me cry over and
over again. it doesn't lose its touch.
damn.
i partly blame les. hahaha. ;)
wanna view the script? here it is.
*****
i listened to mr.a-z this afternoon and i wasn't impressed. although, i
loved mr. curiosity and please don't tell her. the other
songs were...ummm... blah. hehe. mraz fanatics, don't kill
me. but thanks to wershwie, i have new-found respect for mraz because of this song:
I know exactly how you feel
you were this close to closing deals
when everything fell from out your hands
you were forced to decide on other plans now
you figured it best to just to ignore it
otherwise you're only living for it
and if anyone ever wondered why you did it
you'd swear they never knew you sold your soul to the
burning, burning, burning bridges
you know exactly what I want so
I don't have to be so damn upfront
no matter the moment we decide to make our minds up
I know a man who may need a new assignment
to hand in his heart and take his last vacation
attempting to spoil imagination
if anyone ever wonders where he went
I wouldn't say that he spent his time driving over
burning, burning, burning bridges
burning, burning which is
nothing more than a longing for being uninvolved
uninvolved
uninvolved
uninvolved
oh, desire can cause heart attacks
oh, desire can cause heart attacks
oh, desire can cause heart attacks
oh, desire, it won't bring you back
bakit hindi ako ang nakaisip ng kantang to? galing ni mraz.
|
|
| ang kulit. |
[24 Aug 2005|02:55am] |
you might have received a forwarded email containing this. hahahaha. funny. ang kulit! hehe. enjoy!
*****
THINGS THAT HALLMARK CARDS DON'T SAY:
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.
But don't fret about it...
She moved in with me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Looking back over the years
that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder...
"What the hell was I thinking?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,
someone to love.
After having met you .
I've changed my mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Happy birthday! You look great for your age.
Almost Lifelike!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up,
I think it's time you kept your promise.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We have been friends for a very long time,
let's say we stop?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I'm so miserable without you
it's almost like you're here.
*****
yey, ballet! :)
|
|
| saya lang. |
[23 Aug 2005|03:26am] |
toto, jay, jett, and i had an impromptu jamming session tonight at the
jescom steps. we might have disturbed the sleep of some priests
but i hope that they enjoyed the music instead of getting annoyed by
it. :) i heard some of toto's original compositions (toto is the
guitarist and one of the vocalists of the band, sipol, who released a
self-titled album last year.) and i must say, i loved them! ang
galing! i mentioned before that everytime i hear several indigo
girls originals, my thought bubble would always be: "yan! yan ang
gusto ko sabihin!" and "sana ako nakaisip ng kantang yan".
ganon din feeling ko kanina. grabe. hats off ako kay
Toto. grabe. i wish i were rich so i could invest in making
him famous so that many many other people can enjoy his music.
side kuwento. maganda talaga yung songs mismo, kasi si jay yung
kumanta nung 2 eh, pero nagustuhan ko pa rin. buti after awhile,
naglabas na siya ng flute, para tumugtog na lang siya.
hehehehe.
*****
sulit ang breakfast buffet sa something fishy at eastwood city. 80php,
eat all you can, from 12mn to 10am. had "breakfast" there two times in
the past 3 days. winner.
*****
|
|
| it's 5:32 am |
[21 Aug 2005|05:32am] |
and i just got home. :)
*****
update(posting this at 2:12pm):
had double rendezvous last night. if they were dates, you could say i double-booked. hehehe.
|
|
| it's my blog and i'll rant if i want to. |
[20 Aug 2005|02:54am] |
alam ko na kung bat ako nagkakaganito. papalapit na kasi ang full moon. hehehe.
*****
last night, after a long rehearsal for a concert we had tonight, jay,
rubs, oliver, and i went to jack's loft (i swear, malapit na namin
maging central perk ang jack's loft) for a nightcap, supposedly.
sabi namin, "we're tired na. let's just have a quick
nightcap. dessert lang tas uwi na." but we ended up ordering
ceasar's salad, pasta, and risotto. ganda.
topics of conversation became really interesting. too interesting that i went home feeling quite disturbed.
one of the first activities during bp's recollection last april was to
get in touch with oneself by drawing a house whose every room
represented a particular aspect of one's life.... the sala would
represent how you initially present yourself to others (this is the
person whom your acquaintances know), the dining room would represent
how you relate with people who are closest to your heart, the kitchen -
the aspects of your life that are on fire or are brewing(problems,
hardships, etc), the bedroom - your personal space, the bathroom -
aspects that need healing, and the bodega - the deepest secrets we keep
locked in a safe place that we'd rather not deal with or issues that
you wish to resolve but remain unresolved. the different colors
and different shapes and sizes of the rooms may also have particular
meaning.
the biggest room in my house
then was the bathroom. there were 2 major things i was dealing
with at that particular time and healing was something i desperately
needed. i realized, too, after much reflection, that i did not
have a bodega. my house had black spots along the corridors and
walkways and in some of the rooms. my unresolved issue was not
locked in a safe place. i had always been aware of its existence
(hmmm.... maybe since grade 7...) and it had just been floating
around, affecting the other "rooms" of my house.
on one hand, awareness of what my issue is is a good thing.
knowing is half the battle. :) dealing with it and not allowing
it to affect the other rooms
was what i had to work on. naturally, it's a daily
struggle. and i must say i was successful somehow. (i dealt
with it but when i get tired, i park it inside the bodega for
safekeeping.) but it tends to resurface once in a while and when
it does, knowing me, it really overwhelms me. i stay with
it. then i cry and shake it off and i'm ready to take on the
world again.
i came home feeling a little disturbed last night because my "bodega"
was given a nudge and the little creatures inside regained their
power.
i never talked about that issue with anyone, except my
sd. but today i told jay about it. it was good to get
it off my chest.
okay... so the staying with it and crying is done.... next stage na. hehe.
*****
kasalanan ni oliver to eh. hehehe. sayang at hindi siya
naniniwala sa online blogging kaya't hindi nagbabasa ng blog.
kaya bukas na bukas, sasabihin ko sa kanyang siya ang may
kasalanan. haha.
i blame the full moon and oliver. hehe.
|
|
| rock me, amadeus. |
[19 Aug 2005|10:47am] |
That's His doing, isn't it? He gave
me that longing - then made me mute. Why? Tell me that. If He didn't
want me to serve Him with music, why implant the desire, like a lust in
my body, then deny me the talent? Go on, tell me! Speak for Him!
-"Amadeus," 1984
there must have been a wrong turn. an erroneous implant. otherwise, why am i here?
i haven't cried in, maybe, 4 months... i guess i need this break from being strong and courageous.
|
|
| million dollar man. |
[16 Aug 2005|03:23am] |
conversation over tapa joe and grilled boneless chicken and a pitcher of tropical fruit punch:
me: so how'd you find charlie and the chocolate factory?
him: super ganda. na entertain ako!
me: hindi ako naawa sa batang nalunod and hinigop ng machine.
him: hindi ako naawa sa kahit sino sa kanilang apat.
me: ano pinakagusto mo? didn't you love the oompa loompas?
him: ay oo. super. malamang computer-generated yun, noh? kasi sobrang magkakamukha sila eh.
me: (speechless.) (big eyes.) (stunned.)
after two seconds...
me: (smitten...) awwwww, my dear, awwwww (reaches for his chin and kisses him on the cheek.)
hahahahahahaha. haaaaaaay. hahahaha.
him: hindi, kasi may babae, diba? yung secretary, kamukha rin niya.
|
|
| today. |
[16 Aug 2005|02:33am] |
bad things:
1. slight migraine and a cold.
2. body aching like hell.
3. the 8 horizontal lines on my lcd, 9 na ngayon.
4. i said something to jay that made him squirm. (yeah, i should change that. sorry, bud.)
good things:
1. quiche lorraine back on starbucks menu.
2. i had a slice a while ago.
3. i had to share something to someone and i felt totally
understood. love it when i experience that kind of connection.
4. frw_016374
|
|
| trip to another planet. |
[15 Aug 2005|02:48am] |
watched a few episodes of battlestar galactica tonight. it was
amazing. battlestar ba o battleship? ah, i don't
care. hahaha.
|
|
| options vs. alternatives, part 2 |
[12 Aug 2005|07:46pm] |
|
carlo posted a comment on my previous post entitled high maintenance? and posted an entry related to it on his own blog and i then i commented on that, too.
after i finished typing that entry, i was almost sure carlo was not
gonna pass up the chance to comment on the topic. i wasn't surprised that when i got home last
night - well, early this morning - that someone had left a comment and
later on found out that it was he. we, carlo and i, always
find something to argue about. and we always find loopholes
in each other's arguments that it sometimes takes hours for us to get
our messages across and make our point, but almost always realize that
we have not been able to convince each other. it's surprising
sometimes how we can still respect each other after the nasty things
(well, not really nasty.. just hurtful sometimes) we can say to each
other - probably because i'm not a convicted criminal or i haven't
tried commiting suicide and he still believes that i have preserved my
human dignity. hehe. no, i guess it's
because he totally understands me and i've stopped trying to understand
him a long time ago. hehe.
anyway, the exchange led me into thinking about relationships - my
own, as well as the relationships that my friends have or had with
their own significant others.
the text that follows is an excerpt from the last comment i posted
on carlo's blog: (the exchange of posts/comments may be viewed by
clicking the links above.:) )
correct.
i guess at the end of the day it’s just a matter of finding the
right person who will share the same things that you like and who will
be with you in a relationship that would allow you to be comfortable by just
being you…and hopefully you both like each other in the same way… or in
my case, you like each other in that way at all. hahahaha. because
sometimes two people seem perfect for each other but neither of them
can find it in their hearts to be in that zone.
it isn't selfish to want to be accepted for exactly who you are and
to deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. diba nga
high maintenance may no longer be high maintenance if you've really
found your match?
a girl might be labeled as high maintenance by one guy but another
guy might not feel the same. you just have to meet your
match. and by meeting your match, i don't mean that everything
will be perfect and it will not entail any work or sacrifice.
meeting your match also means, finding that you love this other
person, who used to be a total stranger, enough for you to be willing
to compromise and work it out. if that works, then good. if
it doesn't then, you let each other go. you don't let the other
hold on to empty promises and false hopes. because that is where
selfishness comes in, when you get all the benefits while the other
hangs on for whatever extra you can spare while they're giving
200%.
we become unfair when we expect the other person to be someone
they're not, diba? now, if we're the ones giving what seems to be less
than a 100% to someone who's giving 200% and we expect them to be okay
with less than 100%, then that's still unfair. and if we keep
them despite knowing that we will never be able to give as much as
they're giving, while we know that that is what they deserve (and not
just what they want), then, i think that's selfish.
( three years ago. (story behind my break up.) )
a guy can also be considered high maintenance, although we (women)
hardly use that term. when we have to deal and compete with the
male ego, we do not have enough time to explain to you, men, out there,
how difficult that is. enough said.
…and hopefully you both like each other in the same way… or in
my case, you like each other in that way at all. hahahaha. because
sometimes two people seem perfect for each other but neither of them
can find it in their hearts to be in that zone.
there's this guy that i'm very close with whom several of my closest
friends would love to see me get into a relationship with.
hahahaha. bakit ba? hahaha. in fairness, we do have a
lot in common. love namin to just hang out. we both love to
eat. i love to drive, he loves to ride with me.
hahaha. user. madami pa pero pang private post na
yun. hehe. i like him. i'm just not "in like"
with him. i love him. very much. but i'm not "in
love" with him. ganon lang talaga. it's just not
there.
a few friends asked me: hypothetically, what would it
take for me to take our "relationship" a notch higher. (sabi ko,
unang una, dapat unattached siya. hahahaha.) seriously, i
said, honestly, i don't think we can take it up a notch. there is
no higher level. i think we'ver reached as far as we can
go. but HYPOTHETICALLY, if, by some twist of fate, we discover that
we like each other in another way, then that would not be taking it up
a notch, that would be taking it to an entirely different dimension
that i would be hesitant to step into.
funny, i've never discerned about friendship this way. but i
felt i had to think about these things when i was bombarded with
questions about us. funny, coz when the two of us are together,
we don't find anything unusual or bizarre or peculiar about how we are
to each other. i guess, in this case, i can also say that i have
just found my match. my soulmate. but you don't always
marry your soulmate. sometimes you don't even translate into being a
couple. ganon lang talaga.
okay babay na. dadalan ko pa siya ng soy milk. ;)
( thinking aloud. for me lang. :) )
|
|
| options vs. alternatives. |
[12 Aug 2005|04:12am] |
today was a reeeeeeeeealy boring day. i had several ideas as to
how i could relieve myself of boredom. but they were either
impossible, improbable, logistically impractical, or illegal.
hahahaha.
*****
thank god for best friends.
although i totally understand how caring for a baby and adjusting to
married life can be time and energy-consuming, i can't help but miss
the time when coco was just a phonecall away, much like how i am to her
now... on-call, more often than not. now, i text her to tell her
i hope we could talk, then wait for her text to tell me that she's free
so i can give her a call. (to think that sometimes it's just cheesy kuwento that you only share with people really close to you and who already understand you and know your history) there are some days when she replies...
and more days when she isn't able to. i can't say i hate it or i
dislike it, i just really miss her. that's all.
good thing jay came home from cavite tonight. i was so bored
that when i received a text that said, "ano gimik mo tonight?" i
felt my heart skip a beat in excitement. pathetic!
hehe.
*****
rainy evening.
i met jay at 11pm in front of rubylee's apartment. since i
already had heavy dinner complete with dessert, i was just supposed to
accompany him to his favorite bulalohan in boni. when the
waitress brought the bowl of hot bulalo to our table, i immediately
ordered my own cup of rice. sarap ng hot soup on a cold rainy
night. plus the sinful taba and bone marrow. cholesterol
fatale. capped the evening off with coffee and guyabano juice at
starbucks in makati and an hour of tambay at the jescom steps.
*****
jay and i talked about a lot of nonsense tonight. naubos na yata
yung mga philosophical/psychological/melodramatic stuff.
hehe. buti na rin. kasi this past week was all about being
in "the moment". we talked, well, HE talked. i asked
questions. he clarified his point. he convinced me. i
was convinced. then two days later, the effect expires.
hehehe. so today was like a "replenishment" of the effect.
we had several "overshare" moments. (yun yung we interrupt the
flow of our conversation by saying... "pwedeng mag-overshare?" and it's
followed by interesting, elaborate, incriminating, and/or controversial
kuwento that we don't share with just anyone.) hahahaha.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
t1moune's journal